Over a year ago, I discovered this cake made by Molly on orangette. I think it might have been the beginning of my long, slow, hidden wedding planning. Briliant, I thought. Homemade. Not fussy. Lookin' like one delicious dessert. Unique. I said to myself, "self, you could do that, and freeze it and voila." Love the idea of skipping the big weddingnessfroth cake, which often isn't that great tasting.
And I have just discovered THIS post by Faith over on Kitchn, in which she took orangette's idea of a simple almost flourless chocolate cake and took it, like 65 steps into fabulousness with this table of amazing godlike ambrosia/cakes. No seriously, are you kidding me? That looks like an old master's painting. And I think it's the same cake, tiered with a whipcream/creamcheese frosting. Plus, excuse me, what is that olive oil lemon cake thing? Holy cow. Wouldn't that go with the whole Spanish food thing, olives and lemons both being very Spanish. At least in my mind. I wouldn't do the figs and grapes, but I might do raspberries, strawberries, kumquats, even.
If Faith can do it, I think I can. But don't worry, I am not crazy enough to try to make my own ice cream.
I didn't even make the connection that this was Kitchn, which is Apartmenttherapy, which I have been in love with for years and years. You see what I'm saying about avoiding the huge wedding sites and all their madness? Who needs that tangle?
This whole wedding thing is starting to come together in my mind. Now if only I can find the place and the money to get it done. Then I can instruct S that he may initiate proceedings on the official "asking" part.
Oh well, I guess we still have to find a place to move first.
One good thing about waiting so long is that the kids are getting older and are not so high maintenance anymore. So it will be less stressful for me and S.
To top off all the cake wonderfulness, I love what this couple did with cake serving. No smooshing in the face. The couple cut the cake and then proceeded to SERVE all of their guests. To me, that is not only community oriented and DIY, but also very symbolic. Lovely touch.
Now I have to leave this party world and go back to my normal blog and do my work and clean up the house that has been torn apart by small little beings. They look like elves, but they make puddles on the floor and throw tantrums when they don't get more goldfish crackers.
Interestingly, just after writing about having a friend officiate, I found this post on a backyard wedding. Not only did she have a friend officiate (they got married at city hall previously, so no worries or pressures on friend to be "legal") but she also had this beautiful, community ceremony. Out under the trees. With paper tissue poofs and pretty paper pennants, both of which I had thought of for my wedding. See. It can work!
Hmm. I think I like this idea of just writing a bunch of posts when I am researching. My mind is fresh and I am in the wedding mood, which is not actually where most of my attention goes.
Another thing I like? Never touching or looking at any of those wedding magazines that seem to multiply like big poofy tulle fungi. I swear, I start to get sick when I look through those things, and everything looks alike. I'd rather get ideas from the internet and various party hosting articles in various lifestyle magazines.
A wedding is just a party to celebrate someone's marriage. It is not an industry. Okay, well, it is. But mine won't be.
This is a lovely diy wedding, found on stylemepretty. I love the setting. If only I could find a grove of aspens. I love the informal feel of people just wandering along the path, gathering around in a meadow. Very pretty and touching. I also love that it is so family and child oriented. Games! How clever and important for a party with many children. Great idea.
And to go along with the family focus, the clothes line with all the photos. Old and new family photos. I really like that for myself, particularly since this wedding that is yet to be planned or have a date set is, in part, for our children and our families. I guess all weddings are, but our wedding would have actual little people running about, not the abstract concept of future children. And no one will then feel compelled to ask us, "so, when you having kids?" heheh.
I plan on doing a LOT of my wedding DIY. This is one of the reasons I started this to plan and research ideas and maybe even use to keep track of projects. Because I don't want to have crazy stressed out time before this wedding, whenever it happens. And that's pretty hard to do if you're DIY everything.
Witness my current plans of DIY, and my rationalization on why I can do it (or can find a family member and/or friend to do it for me.)
Invites. I am an artist and writer and setting up a whole system for printing currently.
Vows. Both S and I are poets (shhh, don't tell anyone.)
Table settings. I have read Martha Stewart for 20 years, and besides, I will simplify the whole thing because I like simple. and small. and heartfelt.
Favors. I am an artist and would probably do something to reflect that.
Flowers. I've done wedding bouquets before, and because I would go for something kind of wildflowery/handtied looking. And because my mom is a horticulturist and I could pass this off to her to do.
Music. I do not have the skills for this, but S's best friend is a musician and DJ, and my sister and her fiancee are musicians, and I would probably like an Ipod playlist, although we don't have an Ipod yet. This will take some work. I might put S in charge. He might be able to find friends to play for free, actually. Hmm.
Photography. My dad and my uncle are both professional photographers and I am an avid amateur. Would it be weird if the bride ran around snapping digital shots during the wedding?
Guest book. So many options for creativity here, I can think this up. I can do most anything on paper, owing to my lifetime of arts and crafts and writing.
Hair and makeup. I would do my own hair and makeup because I like a natural look, but my sister is also a professional hair stylist and makeup artist. I'm not talking to her right now, but I have plenty of time to work on that. ;)
Officiant. My bestfriend and I both registered to be officiants at the same time. I haven't finished the process, but I think she has. And if she hasn't there's plenty of time for that.
Bar. I, S and my sister are or have been professional bartenders over the course of the past 20 or so years. I think we got this... although we wouldn't work during it, obviously. Thinking more we stock our own bar, create a specialty punch/drink, and then hire a friend to tend bar.
And my possible DIY plans
Dinner. I have dreams of having a Spanish style fiesta with Paella and tapas and simple good food that I could plan all myself with my mom... but I am not that crazy and will probably have to hire someone to do this (or whatever we plan).
Cake/cupcakes. I still think about doing this. Plain cupcakes aren't as difficult as a big white tiered wedding cake which I think is unnecessary, or I have a flourless chocolate cake recipe that can be made ahead and frozen, and served with whipped cream and icecream and berries. Yumm. I want that now.
Apps. See "Dinner." How hard would it be to set out olives and manchego and nice crusty bread? Or make some tortas and slice up some chorizo. Doesn't that sound like a good pre party snack?
Glasses This is probably dreaming, but I'd like to scour yardsales and fleamarkets or even Ikea and pick up plain glass tumblers and vintage juice glasses and use those for everything from water to wine to whiskey.
Plates and Utensils. Also probably dreaming. Same yardsale/thrifting and using mismatched vintage place settings. The biggest problem with this would be cleanup and storage.
The things I wouldn't do myself?
Dress. Seamstress, I am not, but I will get a simple, inexpensive dress and possibly add some embellishments like a ribbon or a shrug. I'm not a princess and don't want to pretend that I am.
Tables and chairs are looking pretty much NOT diy Unless we do a picnic on the beach or in a field, in which case I would like to thrift up some blankets for "seating"
Venue. I just don't know where it will be and we first have to move, which will probably define the location. And the date, actually. I could find a park somewhere, but it would take much research, especially since we still have a move to make, and that will define location. Without knowing the location, it's kind of hard to define most of the plans. Hence perhaps my longing for a grove of aspens.
Bartending This could just be self serve, but a nice touch would be someone behind a bar.
Food serving Well, there probably won't be formal servers, but someone to set things out and care for the dishes. Probably the same person as set up and clean up, actually.
Set up and Clean up the day of. I don't want to do this. But if pressed, I'll probably make my mom do this. Sorry mom. :)
Possibly day of coordinator. This is a new thought. If I do everything myself, why not hire someone to organize and set up everything for the big day so I can actually have a party rather than HOST. Seriously, I don't want to do anything the day of.
Am I crazy? Just a little? Remember also that we're talking TINY wedding here. Not big. Luckily, we have small families, spread far and many of them won't or can't travel much. It does depend on where it is, though. If we do it in NY that's a different guest list than if we do it in Florida which is a different guest list than if we do it goodness knows where we end up moving.
I found this lovely wedding on Offbeat Bride. None of the fancy stuff. Not even a party with this one, just a ceremony and what seemed to be a wandering about exotic scenery.
I don't know if this is what I would want to do, because, well, we've been together so long, and had kids and everything, I think it would be kind of important to our families to see us get married, so i don't really want to elope. I still like the ideas here. And I like the way it reminds you to think outside of the box. Strip away all the orthodoxy, the idea a "wedding", the matching candle sticks and napkins, and there you have something important to them.
On a side note, or really not that side-ish at all, I want to post about the cake that I have thought about for quote some time. I found this recipe for a dark chocolate, nearly flourless cake at orangette, oh, I don't know... a year ago, and thought it looked so tasty and unexpected. My first idea had been a bunch of cupcakes. Cupcakes are nice and tasty and festive without being a big crazy deal. I might still go with cupcakes, but nice to know there's an option here. I also like that you can make this gateau ahead of time and freeze it. No need for last minute stuff, if you're diy.